Building a Healthy Family – Ephesians 5:22-29; 6:1-9

Beloved, we are grateful to God for another Family Sunday. Today, we shall be discussing keys to building a healthy family.

A healthy family is key to a healthy nation. Once, the family unit is broken down, the nation will surely break down. Everyone has a role to play in building a healthy family. Father, mother, children etc failure to play their role will result in family disintegration.

Keys to building a healthy family include:

• Having a deep commitment to one another. When any member of the family is rejoicing, everyone should join in the rejoicing and when the unexpected happens, we should be there for each other. Romans 12:14-16 says, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low positions. Do not be conceited”.
• Making family time a top priority. Any time that has been set aside or agreed upon by the family, make it a priority. It could be a family holiday, family get-together, family outing etc. it must take top priority in our plans. In John 2, Jesus showed us an example of making family time a priority by attending a wedding in Cana with His mother. He did not plan to but He became the Saviour of the day.
• Communicate your needs. Don’t just think about it, don’t conclude that they should know, say it out. Be free to express yourself and communicate your needs to family members. 1 Kings 1:17-21 says, “She said to him, “My lord, you yourself swore to me your servant by the Lord your God: ‘Solomon your son shall be king after me, and he will sit on my throne.’ But now Adonijah has become king, and you, my lord the king, do not know about it. He has sacrificed great numbers of cattle, fattened calves, and sheep, and has invited all the king’s sons, Abiathar the priest and Joab the commander of the army, but he has not invited Solomon your servant. My lord the king, the eyes of all Israel are on you, to learn from you who will sit on the throne of my lord the king after him. Otherwise, as soon as my lord the king is laid to rest with his ancestors, I and my son Solomon will be treated as criminals.”
• Be your brother’s keeper. Don’t be Cain that said to God in Genesis 4:9, “Am I my brother’s keeper”? if you are not your brother’s keeper, who else will?
• Share responsibilities. In Genesis 18, Abraham welcomes 3 VIP visitors to his house and see what he did in verses 6-8, “And Abraham hastened into the tent unto Sarah, and said, Make ready quickly three measures of fine meal, knead it, and make cakes upon the hearth. And Abraham ran unto the herd, and fetch a calf tender and good, and gave it unto a young man; and he hasted to dress it. And he took butter, and milk, and the calf which he had dressed, and set it before them, and he stood by them under the tree, and they did eat. No one should carry the burden alone.
• Make sure all family members are heard. No matter their age, status or circumstances, every family member must be heard. Joseph had 2 dreams in Genesis 37 and it is amazing the response that came back from his father and brothers. Genesis 37:10-11 says, “When he told his father as well as his brothers, his father rebuked him and said, “What is this dream you had? Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow down to the ground before you?” His brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind”.
• Be grateful to God for one another. Always look for a reason or an opportunity to be grateful to God for your family. Everyone might not be on the same page with you, trust me, there is always one reason or another to give thanks. 1 Thess. 5:16-18 says, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you”. Colossians 3:14-15 says, “But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful”.
• Resolve conflicts quickly and promptly. Conflicts are part of human day to day activities. Even tongue and teeth do fight but they resolve their conflict quickly and promptly. Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil”.
• Actively listen to each other. Don’t just be around but actively listen to what is being said to you. James 1:19-20 says, “ Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
• Avoid making comparisons. Stop comparing your family to that of your friends, neighbours etc. You might not know and no one will tell you that what you’re actually seeing is packaging. Stay on your lane, look inward and be ready to play active role in moving your family forward. 2 Corinthians 10:12 says, “We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they show their ignorance”.
• Trust is key. All need genuine love to build trust. Love will mend any broken trust. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, hopes, and perseveres.
• Always offer encouraging words. There will always be high and low moments at home. Whatever might be the situation, be ready and always offer encouraging words. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose”. God encouraged Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Matthew 6:31–34 “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or “What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
• Show love and respect to each other. Respect they say is reciprocal. Everyone must be respected if we desire a healthy family. Proverbs 3:3-4 says, “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favour and a good name in the sight of God and man. Romans 12:10, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves”.Romans 13:8, “Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.